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Imago, Unique Self, & the Crying God

Harville Hendrix, Helen LaKelly Hunt, Lori Galperin, & Marc Gafni

Watch and listen to this gorgeous dialogue between four masters of their respective fields in the process of evolving the teaching of Unique Self, Unique We, Couplehood, Imago Therapy, and Unique Self Recovery.

Part 1 of the Dialogue:

For the whole dialogue, click here>>>

Harville HendrixHarville Hendrix is a contemporary psychologist who co-founded Imago Relationship Therapy, along with his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt. Harville Hendrix was born in 1935 in Statesboro, Georgia. He was an ordained Baptist minister before he completed his BA at Mercer University in Georgia, in 1957, and his BD from Union Theological Seminary in 1961. He went on to receive both an MA and PhD in psychology and religion from the Divinity School at the University of Chicago. Hendrix serves as a therapist, educator, and pastoral counselor. He has spent the last two decades practicing and teaching his own form of marriage and relationship therapy known as Imago Relationship Therapy in collaboration with his wife.

Helen LaKelly HuntHelen LaKelly Hunt (born 1949) is a daughter of H. L. Hunt. She is founder and president of The Sister Fund, which describes itself as “a private women’s fund dedicated to the social, political, economic, and spiritual empowerment of women and girls.” She currently lives in New York with her husband, Harville Hendrix, a self-help author. Hunt was inducted into the National Women’s Hall of Fame, which cited her as a “[c]reative philanthropist who has used her own resources and others to create women’s funding institutions.”

Lori GalperinLori Galperin  is a clinician, writer and teacher who began her 27 year career working in the area of sex & marital therapy. Training at Masters & Johnson Institute, she eventually became co-director, co-founded the first inpatient sexual trauma program in the country, and ultimately established and clinically co-directed three such programs. Her work spanned diverse populations including incest families, sex offenders, victims of sexual abuse and individuals struggling with sexual addiction.

Marc GafniDr. Marc Gafni is a philosopher, public intellectual and wisdom teacher. He holds his doctorate in philosophy from Oxford University, rabbinic certification from the chief rabbinate in Israel, as well private rabbinic ordination. He is also ordained and holds a doctorate in religious science. He is the initiating thought leader, together with Ken Wilber, of World Spirituality based on Integral principles, as well as the leading theorist and teacher of Unique Self Enlightenment. He is the director of Center for Integral Wisdom (formerly World Spirituality), a think tank he co-founded in 2011 with Ken Wilber, Sally Kempton, and Mariana Caplan (now also joined by Lori Galperin) which is creating a body of work to evolve the source code of human existence.

For a Dialogue between Ken Wilber, Helen LaKelly Hunt, Harville Hendrix & Marc Gafni On the Nature of Connection, click here>>>

For a Dialogue between Helen & Harville Hendrix & Marc Gafni On Paradox, click here: In this dialogue, Helen LaKelly Hunt and Harville Hendrix talk with Marc Gafni about the relationship of couplehood and the evolving Imago Model to the Unique Self /Unique We relationship teaching.

Unique Self – A Bridge Between Psychology and Spirituality

Elliott Ingersoll & Marc Gafni

In these dialogues, Dr. Elliott Ingersoll and Dr. Marc Gafni have partnered up to explore how the Unique Self teaching can act as a bridge between Psychology and Spirituality.

Elliott Ingersoll in these talks:

“I look at your book [Your Unique Self] as also a book about what I would call transcendent Psychology because you have really mapped what is going on: How do you find yourself on the Western path and lose yourself on the Eastern path?”

“And then why hasn’t it gone further? Are people really that lazy or stupid? Or is there a piece missing?”

“And I think you have found this missing piece, what you are calling the Unique Self.”

“I recommend your book [Your Unique Self] to anybody who’s listening, and if a student of mine is listening, they know I don’t say this lightly: I really think your book is the best bridge between psychology and spirituality.”

Listen to their first dialogue here:

In part 2, they discuss how the Unique Self teaching adds a whole dimension to the more classical psychological teachings on Shadow. Amongst others they explore how mainstream psychology reduces our authentic grandeur to grandiosity and how to let anger show us the way to our vitality.

Unique Self & Shadow

Dr. Marc Gafni

At the Integral Spiritual Experience 1, which was all about Unique Self, Dr. Marc Gafni held a keynote speech about Understanding Your Unique Shadow.

Watch here:

IFS, Integral and Unique Self

Ken Wilber, Richard Schwartz & Marc Gafni

In this dialogue, Professor Richard Schwartz (Internal Family Systems), Ken Wilber and Marc Gafni discuss a specific therapeutic case originally described by Prof. Schwartz from his therapeutic practice.

Richard Schwartz is a leading expert in the field of psychotherapy and recognized as the founding developer of Internal Family Systems Theory, an influential therapeutical model which combines systems thinking with an integrative view of the mind and its discrete qualities.

Listen to the first 10 minutes here:

For the whole dialogue, click here>>>

For another dialogue between Marc Gafni and Richard Schwartz on Unique Self and IFS, click herre>>>

Welcome to Unique Self Recovery

The world of therapy, particularly the recovery movement, has made an enormous contribution to Western society and culture. Of course it’s probably also true that Western society and culture contributed much to create the sickness which created the addiction.

Now that we are here we need to find a way out of the malaise in society which contributed the cultural pathologies which created rampant forms of addiction and breakdown in all its various forms. And we need to deal with the effect of addiction and how to heal it.

What we have developed at the Center for Integral Wisdom addresses both of those levels of the disease. We call it Unique Self Recovery, which is based on a simple principle of Unique Self Discovery. Realizing that you have a Unique Self is therapeutic.

The source of all breakdown is some loss of self in an essential way. Therapy and recovery classically deal with the disintegration of self in structural ways but they never actually engage in “re-selfing”. They don’t respond to the question of “Who am I? Why am I here? What is my deepest purpose?” They work on attacks on ego structure that come from yesterdays which need to be addressed, but that’s not sufficient to become whole.

To become healthy means not only to work with the problems of yesterday but to be called to the full presence of today to be called into the future – to have an evolutionary attractor which calls me into the fullness of myself.

Welcome to Unique Self Recovery by Dr. Marc Gafni:

Unique Self Recovery & Re-Selfing

by Lori Galperin

Unique Self is about evolving your identity to be in greatest alignment with the essence of who you truly are. It is about understanding your significance. It is about recognizing the gifts you alone possess in precisely the way that you do, and finding a way to share them that brings deep fulfillment.

Every person has a particular set of capacities and qualities, a unique set of gifts to share with the world. So, never to achieve realization of one’s self deprives not simply the individual, but all. In anyone’s life, there are experiences that aid the unfolding of one’s unique self and likewise, experiences that shift the trajectory in ways that constrain its emergence.

Unique Self Recovery provides a way back. Finding the way back often rests upon discovering where, when, how and why one went off track. It requires looking anew, with compassion, at the previously painful, and at the time, perhaps unassimilable, that created a departure from the course of one’s truest, fullest self-unfolding. It involves looking at events that closed the heart and erected obstacles to intimacy: with self, others and the larger creative context. It is about re-opening.

Re-Selfing is a Seven Step Process

  1. Jump by luigi diamanti - www.freedigitalphotos.netRealizing where, when, how and why constriction came to reside where curiosity and openness once lived.
  2. Repair of “damage done”, whether intentional or inescapable: by others or by self.
  3. Ridding oneself of outmoded belief systems that arose from earlier limited abilities to understand intricacies implicit in the whys and wherefores of that which was overwhelming.
  4. Re-owning with respect and reverence whatever it felt necessary to shed in order to feel “safe” or to insure seeming “predictability” along the way.
  5. Resuscitating what was deadened.
  6. Risking reopening to life and aliveness and renewing that commitment again and again.
  7. Refraining from self-castigation when things temporarily go away.


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