Questions & Answers for Dr. Warren Farrell & Dr. Marc Gafni

The Boy Crisis Meets A Return to Eros – A Dialogue between Dr. Warren Farrell & Dr. Marc Gafni – Part 3

In this discussion between Marc Gafni, Warren Farrell, and the board members of the Center for Integral Wisdom we explore answers to several evolutionary questions such as:

  • How do we eliminate male disposability?
  • What impact has the charter school movement had on the boy crisis?
  • Do you find a different number of women who are willing to be a champion for men, than willing to be a champion for boys?
  • Kids that do the mass shootings are disproportionately white, is that fair to say? And if so, what do you think of that?
  • Men and women desire each other and we seem to have gotten to the point where men are asked to hold all of the desire in society. How did we get out of balance?

Enjoy the video here:

For the beginning of this dialog between Marc Gafni and Warren Farrell, check out part 1 and part 2.

A Return to Eros: The Radical Experience of Being Fully Alive

marc gafni, dr. marc gafni, gafni, eros, a return to eros, kristina kincaid– On Sex, Love, and Eroticism in Every Dimension of Life, from Drs. Marc Gafni and Kristina Kincaid, reveals the radical secret tenets of relationship between the sexual, the erotic, and the holy. They reveal what Eros actually means and share the ten core qualities of the Erotic, which are modeled by the sexual. These include being on the inside, fullness of presence, yearning, allurement, fantasy, surrender, creativity, pleasure, and more.

A Return to Eros shows why these qualities of the erotic modeled by the sexual are actually the same core qualities of the sacred. The relationship between the sexual and the erotic becomes clear, teaching you how to live an erotically suffused existence charged with purpose, potency and power.

To be an Outrageous Lover—not just in sex but also in all facets of your life–you must listen deeply to the simple yet elegant whisperings of the sexual. This book will forever transform your understanding and experience of love, sex, and Eros.

>>> Buy A Return to Eros Here <<<


Reclaiming Eros

with Dr. Marc Gafni

marc gafni, dr. marc gafni, gafni, eros, reclaiming eros, online course, ciwprogramsImagine being fully expressed with an unstoppable life force that aligned you with the will, the desire, the knowledge and the creative impulse to engage ALL areas of your life full-on; without fear or shame stopping you from moving forward. Imagine the transformative power and positive impact you’d have on your personal relationships and potentially be a major influence in the world.

This is the ideal companion to our think tank book A Return to Eros by Dr. Marc Gafni and Dr. Kristina Kincaid.

>>> Learn More about Reclaiming Eros <<<

Hundreds of Media for You – Totally Free of Charge – NOW

At the Center for Integral Wisdom, we are committed to changing the source code of culture to create a world of Outrageous Love, through Outrageous Love. At the core of that vision and mission is a new, Integral narrative for living that we articulate, evolve and deliver into culture through a set of groundbreaking books, courses, live and online events, and media.

This whole website that we lovingly refer to as our web-plex – because it is actually a whole set of websites – is brimming with exciting media that are conveying this grand narrative to you. Many of these media are totally free of charge to give everybody the  possibility to study this important material.

And now we make it even easier for you to access these great teachings. As of now, we make all our free content available without sign up or login necessary.

Just start exploring our website now and you will find hundreds of media for FREE.

Welcome to a Guided Tour through the Web-Plex

Get Started

Although you now have access to our whole free content throughout all our portals, feel free to sign up for as many Free Offers in as many portals as you like. These Free Offers contain some of our best content that we consider ideal for you to get started. And the best part is that you receive it right into your inbox in easy to handle portions. With your unique login, you will also be able to comment on many of our pages and blog-posts and start a dialogue by doing so.

Also make sure to join us for our weekly online Evolutionary Church with Barbara Marx Hubbard, Dr. Marc Gafni, and Lisa Engles.

Dive Deeper

If you want to dive even deeper into the teachings, we offer a host of Live Events, Online Courses in our Media Store as well as a Premium Membership.

Sign up for the Premium Membership for only $15/month or for $129/year (a savings of $51!), and get streaming access to the entire archive of Integral Wisdom content both here and on, containing videos and dialogues exclusively offered through the Premium Membership.

For a clickable list of our free and premium media, click on this screen shot here:

Reclaiming Eros: The Inside of the Inside – Part 1

Watch this teaching by Dr. Marc Gafni as our special gift from our Online Course on Reclaiming Eros:

Some of the themes Marc Gafni covers in this video:

  • The lineage of the “Einstein’s of Consciousness”
  • King Solomon, his wives, and the Temple in Jerusalem
  • The Raiders of the Lost Ark – The Ark of the Covenant
  • The Practice of Jewish Yoga
  • The Talmudic Story of the Poisoned Cookies
  • Temple Consciousness and Sexuality
  • Eros in Exile
  • Reclaiming Eros = Reclaiming Temple Consciousness

>> Download the Transcript of the Video Here <<

Reclaiming Eros Course ImageImagine being fully expressed with an unstoppable life force that aligned you with the will, the desire, the knowledge and the creative impulse to engage ALL areas of your life full-on; without fear or shame stopping you from moving forward. Imagine the transformative power and positive impact you’d have on your personal relationships and potentially be a major influence in the world.

This is what you will learn and become through taking this 9-week video course, professionally filmed on location during the First Festival of Love in Holland.

>>> Learn more and register here for our online course Reclaiming Eros <<<

Responding to Existential Risk

Humanity is facing extinction level crises in not one but in multiple and distinct sectors. That alone could throw us into a personal crisis of overwhelming dimensions—without even beginning to take into account the many crucial personal existential challenges most of us face in our own lives.

How can we possibly look seriously into the face of global existential risk, manifest as extinction level threats and be motivated and energized into the joy of our lives? That is the question that Marc addresses in this very moving video.

How does Existential Risk become the catalyst to profound joy and awakening into the Outrageous Love we are capable of instead of shutting us down? That is the invitation that we all stand for at the Center for Integral Wisdom.

CIW President Dr. Marc Gafni has recorded a half hour video, where he shares some of the thinking that emerged from many of the great conversations during and after our CIW board meeting:

  • How do we live with and constructively respond to the existential risk we live in?
  • How can we use it to motivate us instead of shutting us down?
  • How can we make fear conscious so it enlivens instead of paralyzes us?

Listen to this inspiring talk by Dr. Marc Gafni:

WOW Talk Dr. Marc Gafni 2014

Dr. Marc Gafni gave this keynote “The Wounds of Love and Transforming our World” at the WOWTalksLive in April, 2014.

WOW stands for “Women in Wellness” and The WOW Talks brings together hundreds of women and brave, courageous men for the purpose of connecting, collaborating, and celebrating. Dr. Gafni joined speakers Dr. John Gray, famed author of “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus”, Dr. Leslie Hewitt, author of “The New Glossary”, and others on an inspiring speaker lineup.

He was introduced by Tbird Luv and his talk received standing ovations.

Watch his talk here:

[Read more…]

Conscious Entrepreneurship Workshop Nyenrode 2014: ‘How to Deploy Conscious Entrepreneurship In Your Company?’

Marc Gafni, Mauk Pieper & Paul de Blot at Nijenrode UniversityIn this workshop on Conscious Entrepreneurship at Nyenrode Business University, Dr. Marc Gafni, Ken Wilber (on Skype), and Prof. Dr. Paul de Blot explored the following questions:

  • What are the three core principles of running a conscious business?
  • What is the difference between the shareholder model and the stakeholder model, and why does it matter?
  • Why is it essential for a company to identify its Unique Self?
  • What are the three reasons that changing the perception of business in the modern world is essential to the success of business?
  • Why is the evolution of business from unconscious to conscious entrepreneurship essential to the financial bottom line of a company?

Let’s celebrate the role of capitalism in culture, and create a breakthrough new way of navigating a transforming economy. What might it take to forge radical changes born from the ethical and spiritual wisdom of Ken Wilber’s Integral approach. Spiritual and ethical consciousness in doing business includes four principles:

  • Higher purpose / meaning of life
  • Interdependent stakeholders’ orientation
  • Conscious leadership based on self-leadership
  • Conscious culture of trust with awareness for each other

Enjoy the workshop:

[Read more…]

Integral Spiritual Experience 2

The second Integral Spiritual Experience event, attracting about 500 participants from around the world, centered on The Future of Love as part of an Integral approach to spirituality.

Stream the videos of Marc Gafni’s keynote speeches from this major event here:

Harville Hendrix, Helen LaKelly Hunt, Lori Galperin & Marc Gafni: Imago, Unique Self, & the Crying God

Watch and listen to this gorgeous dialogue between four masters of their respective fields in the process of evolving the teaching of Unique Self, Unique We, Couplehood, Imago Therapy, and Unique Self Recovery.

Harville HendrixHarville Hendrix is a contemporary psychologist who co-founded Imago Relationship Therapy, along with his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt.

Harville Hendrix was born in 1935 in Statesboro, Georgia. He was an ordained Baptist minister before he completed his BA at Mercer University in Georgia, in 1957, and his BD from Union Theological Seminary in 1961. He went on to receive both an MA and PhD in psychology and religion from the Divinity School at the University of Chicago.

Hendrix serves as a therapist, educator, and pastoral counselor. He has spent the last two decades practicing and teaching his own form of marriage and relationship therapy known as Imago Relationship Therapy in collaboration with his wife.

Helen LaKelly HuntHelen LaKelly Hunt (born 1949) is a daughter of H. L. Hunt. She is founder and president of The Sister Fund, which describes itself as “a private women’s fund dedicated to the social, political, economic, and spiritual empowerment of women and girls.”

Hunt currently lives in New York with her husband, Harville Hendrix, a self-help author.

Hunt was inducted into the National Women’s Hall of Fame, which cited her as a “[c]reative philanthropist who has used her own resources and others to create women’s funding institutions.”

Lori GalperinLori Galperin serves as a Member of the Board of the Center for Integral Wisdom.

She is a clinician, writer and teacher who began her 27 year career working in the area of sex & marital therapy. Training at Masters & Johnson Institute, she eventually became co-director, co-founded the first inpatient sexual trauma program in the country, and ultimately established and clinically co-directed three such programs. Her work spanned diverse populations including incest families, sex offenders, victims of sexual abuse and individuals struggling with sexual addiction.

Marc GafniDr. Marc Gafni is a philosopher, public intellectual and wisdom teacher. He holds his doctorate in philosophy from Oxford University, rabbinic certification from the chief rabbinate in Israel, as well private rabbinic ordination. He is also ordained and holds a doctorate in religious science. He is the initiating thought leader, together with Ken Wilber, of World Spirituality based on Integral principles, as well as the leading theorist and teacher of Unique Self Enlightenment. He is the director of Center for Integral Wisdom (formerly World Spirituality), a think tank he co-founded in 2011 with Ken Wilber, Sally Kempton, and Mariana Caplan (now also joined by Lori Galperin) which is creating a body of work to evolve the source code of human existence.

Stream the videos here:

Integral Spiritual Experience 2: The Practices of Love

The second Integral Spiritual Experience event, attracting about 500 participants from around the world, centered on The Future of Love as part of an Integral approach to spirituality.

Watch Dr. Marc Gafni’s second keynote on the Practices of Love.

Stream the video here:

Integral Spiritual Experience 2: One Love – Keynote by Dr. Marc Gafni

Watch and listen to this beautiful talk from the Integral Spiritual Experience 2 about One Love, the Four Faces of Eros, and the relationship between the Sexual and the Erotic. Or in Marc Gafni’s words from this Keynote:

We’re in this space in between, and it’s in that space that I want to ask for the grace of God in the first-person, second-person and third-person that we should be able in the next few minutes to unfold a new chapter in Integral Evolutionary understanding, that we should be able to enter the source code of All-That-Is and weave a fabric together which will begin to let us see something of the patterns that connect that we all yearn so deeply to see, which form the undergirding structure of meaning and love in which we’re held in the lap of God. So that’s our intention.

The particular topic or door we’re going to go through is the relationship between the sexual and the erotic, Eros and the sexual, and I use ‘Eros’ here not in the way that David was using it this morning, beautifully, as a kind of one of a fourfold expression of love emerging out of that great tradition, but I use Eros in its more general sense to include all of the four. And I want to talk to you about the relationship between the sexual and the erotic as a way of entering into this new unfolding chapter about Integral evolutionary sexuality, love and Eros. So I’m going to begin in the way of the study hall with a series of questions.

Stream the video here and read the transcript below:


Sally      So let me say a little bit, not to introduce our speaker, because he needs no introduction, but really to honor him. It’s a great privilege to be able to honor your friends and really to speak on behalf of all of us on the Integral Spiritual Experience team and for all of us in this room, just to recognize the place that Marc Gafni holds for us.

He is, as I said before, the Master of the Revels – revels, not rebels, although there is that as well in the heart of all great heart masters. He is the intellectual center of Integral Spiritual Experience. He is the one who has held the vision of this event, which we can’t call a conference, this extraordinary space between the worlds that we occupy here. And he is also a cutting edge spiritual teacher. As Tami Simon, his publisher says, he’s a visionary genius love muffin.

He’s one of the most brilliant Integral evolutionary philosophers around. Like Ken and Deepak, he has that capacity to see through into the patterns of existence, and he has the courage and audacity to speak the new paradigms. Last summer I was having lunch with Marc and Michael Murphy, the founder of Esalen, who’s also one of the cutting edge prophets or heart master evolutionary theorists, Integral theorists of his generation, and he said, “Very rarely do you meet someone who changes the game. Marc,” he said, “you’re changing the game.”

And part of what we are experiencing here in this evolution through the three stages of love, which is the conversation that he has brought into the Integral discourse in the past year, as he brought the conversation on Unique Self into the Integral conversation in the years before, so with all that, the deepest truth that I experience about Marc, as Diane said this morning, is that he does really have the most robust heart of anyone I know.

I come from a lineage of heart masters and I pride myself on being able to recognize one when I see one. So when I tell you, or, that is, when I tell you, as I think you already know, that Marc is a heart master, I know what I’m talking about. So I’d like you to join me in welcoming our heart master, Marc Gafni.

DownloadButtonDownload the whole transcript here:

Integral Spiritual Experience 2: Three Stations of Love

From the Program Manual of the Integral Spiritual Experience 2:

In our discussion of the evolution of love, we’ll work with a model of development that we are calling the Three Stations of Love. We have evolved this model from several of the great traditions. Parallels are found in the work of Robert Kegan, Jane Loevinger, and other constructive developmental theorists. These stations are among the Integral windows into human development, augmenting the classic Integral models of state-stages and structure-stages.

States, Structures, and Stations

Click here to go to the Integral Theory PortalIntegral Theory BannerIn Integral theory, states refer to experiences of awareness, including waking, dreaming, deep sleep, and meditative experiences that may be powerful and transformative, but are not permanent or stable. If these states are intentionally cultivated through contemplative practice, they may become state-stages, yielding stable access to the phenomena disclosed in states beyond the waking realm. By structure-stages of consciousness, we refer to stable levels of development or deep patterns of consciousness that appear within an individual, and which mark the achievement of a new level of stable consciousness.

An example of development through structure-stages is the evolution from egocentric consciousness (concerned with the good of one’s self alone), to ethnocentric consciousness (concerned with the good of one’s family, tribe, or nation) to worldcentric consciousness, (concerned with the good of all). In this example, at every ascending level of consciousness there is an expanded sense of both awareness and identity. Another example of development through structure-stages can be found in developmental lines such as the values line, described best by Spiral Dynamics, which is based on the research and teaching of developmental theorist Clare Graves.

The Three Stations that we will be working with in this year’s ISE express how consciousness evolves through the transitions that distinguish every structure- and state-stage. This evolution is recognized in the traditions, specifically in Sufism and Kabbalah, and is a key dimension of developmental theory. These Three Stations also describe the way that both love and consciousness evolve for every growing individual through the significant situations and relationships of their lives.

The Three Stations of Love unfold within every structure-stage, and are the very mechanism by which individuals move from lower to higher structure-stages of consciousness.(1)

Vehicles for Evolving Consciousness

Before we go further in our explanation of the Three Stations, we need to note that evolution to higher structure-stages, state-stages, and stations of consciousness usually take place in two major ways.

One vehicle for the evolution of consciousness within the individual is formal spiritual or personal growth practice, which includes the intention to wake up and grow up, and methods for moving into expanded awareness and identification such as meditation, chant, self-inquiry, relationships with spiritual teachers, ritual, study of texts, shadow work, perspective-taking, and embodiment practices.

The second—and for many people, the most significant —vehicle for evolving consciousness is life as practice. Life itself—with its agony and ecstasy, its periods of stasis, boredom, and confusion, and its rich textures of love, joy, loss, and pain, offers a profound process of deepening within the individual that evolves both states and structures of consciousness. For example, an experience of either powerful love or powerful loss might affect a significant evolution in your structurestage by influencing your movement through stations of consciousness. Deep work in some creative endeavor, facing and completing a difficult obligation, a significant success or failure, contact with a different culture—these are all ways in which life experience can shift your station, thereby helping to effectuate a shift in your state- or structurestage.

Life, in short, is one of our most powerful teachers. The evolution through the stations of love usually takes place within the context of life as practice.

The Three Stations: Submission, Separation, and Sweetness

Stars-And-Nebula-Gas-by-Victor-HabbickTo unpack the notion of stations of consciousness as they relate to the evolution of love, we’ll use a formulation taken from the tradition of Kabbalah.

The Baal Shem Tov—the great Hebrew mystic who founded the Hasidic movement—in a number of elliptical passages discusses three distinct points that occur in a person’s movement through the different dimensions of life. He refers to them as hachna’ah or submission, havdalah or separation, and hamtaka or sweetness. Each of these three stations refers to a distinct developmental experience, which we move through in the course of life as practice.

The stations, which the Baal Shem calls submission, separation, and sweetness roughly correspond to a movement that developmentalists might refer to as identification (which, at ethnocentric waves of development, might be with a family, partner, or group), to dis-identification (defining the self as separate and distinct from your family, partner, or group) to integration (re-entering the family, partnership, or group at a new level of awareness).

It is also similar, but not to be confused with, the process of moving from the pre-personal levels (structure-stages) of life, where we experience ourselves for a time as merged in a family or couple or group, and in which we act instinctually and unconsciously, to the personal levels, where we make choices based on distinct personal ethical and aesthetic values, and finally to the transpersonal levels, where we may again feel merged in a whole, but from a perspective of fully integrated individuation. (2)

These three stations are repeated time and again within every structureand state-stage of consciousness. They are also virtually always the mechanism for evolving from one structure-stage of consciousness to another.

The application of these distinct stations is relevant in virtually every sphere of human life. Under the right conditions, the human being is always able to evolve to higher and higher levels of freedom and fullness. This development takes place through ascending to higher and higher levels or structure-stages of consciousness, as well as through the microevolution of consciousness that takes place within each structure-stage.

This evolution—both within and to new levels of consciousness—always takes place through the pattern of these three stations—they are literally the phases of every developmental transition. Each station transcends and includes the previous station. Station one and station three can appear—to the untrained eye of the outside observer—to be fairly similar in form and structure. However, when experienced from within, it becomes apparent that stations one and three are entirely different in feeling-tone and inner consciousness, with only apparent external similarity. Station three includes both the identification of station one and the dis-identification of station two so that consciousness is, through integration, more flexible and free in its identifications.

When we apply this core model from the great traditions to love, what emerges is what we have termed the Three Stations of Love.

Stream the video here and read further below:

[Read more…]

Integral Spiritual Experience 2: Opening Invitation

Watch this beautiful 3-minute Opening Invitation by Dr. Marc Gafni to the Integral Spiritual Experience 2 at Asilomar. The second Integral Spiritual Experience event, attracting about 500 participants from around the world, centered on The Future of Love as part of an Integral approach to spirituality.

Let’s toast
Every rung we’ve climbed on Evolution’s ladder.

Whisper, “I love you! I love you!”
To the whole mad world.

Let’s stop reading about God –
We will never understand Him.

Jump to your feet, wave your fists,

Threaten and warn the whole Universe
That your heart can no longer live
Without real love!

~ Hafiz ~

Stream the video here and read the whole Hafiz poem below:

If It Is Not Too Dark

Go for a walk, if it is not too dark.

Get some fresh air, try to smile.

Say something kind
To a safe-looking stranger, if one happens by.

Always exercise your heart’s knowing.

You might as well attempt something real
Along this path:

Take your spouse or lover into your arms
The way you did when you first met.

Let tenderness pour from your eyes
The way the Sun gazes warmly on the earth.

Play a game with some children.

Extend yourself to a friend.

Sing a few ribald songs to your pets and plants –
Why not let them get drunk and wild!

Let’s toast
Every rung we’ve climbed on Evolution’s ladder.

Whisper, “I love you! I love you!”
To the whole mad world.

Let’s stop reading about God –
We will never understand Him.

Jump to your feet, wave your fists,

Threaten and warn the whole Universe
That your heart can no longer live
Without real love!

~ Hafiz ~

Integral Spiritual Experience 1: Shadow Keynote

At the Integral Spiritual Experience 1, which focused on theme of Unique Self, Dr. Marc Gafni gave a keynote presentation on “Understanding Your Unique Shadow.”

In this presentation, Dr. Marc Gafni sketches the framework for a revolutionary leap in our understanding of the human shadow.

Just as there is no light without the dark, there is no Unique Self without Unique Shadow. Shadow is the aspects of our lives and full engagement with the world that have yet to come online. It is life unlived, those dark avenues of experience that are yet to be realized. By tracing Shadow back to its timeless source, we are led directly to the heart of it all.

According to Gafni, your Unique Self and your Unique Shadow are a double helix of light and dark, coiled into the patterns of becoming. In his book, Your Unique Self, Gafni writes: “The greatest paradox of spirit is that your inferior function itself is also your greatest gateway to the numinous. So, for example, if your inferior function is a particular dynamic in the way that you love, it will also be the place of your greatest gift and Unique Self calling.”

Stream the video here:

[Read more…]

Board Meeting 2014

Watch the videos of Board Members talking about their projects at the Center for Integral Wisdom in 2014.

Stay tuned while we are still adding to these videos in the playlist below.

For Marc Gafni's Opening Dharma Talk, click here.

For the Thought Leader Dialogues with Michael Murphy, Founder of Esalen, that have been the highlight of the Board Meetings in 2013 and 2014, click here (2013) and here (2014).

Stream the videos here:


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ISE 2: Sally Kempton Introducing Marc Gafni

Watch Sally Kempton introducing Dr. Marc Gafni at the Integral Spiritual Experience 2.

The second Integral Spiritual Experience event, attracting about 500 participants from around the world, centered on The Future of Love as part of an Integral approach to spirituality.

Stream the video here:

[Read more…]

Venwoude Valentine’s Day Talk 2013 on Outrageous Love

This recording is from Marc Gafni’s teaching in Amsterdam on Valentine’s Day 2013. His talk was about Unique Self, the Evolution of Love and Consciousness, and Outrageous Love.

Enjoy this unplugged Skype Video Teaching here:

Integral Spiritual Experience 1: Unique Self

Unique Self is a key piece of the next generation of Integral theory and practice. The first-ever Integral Spiritual Experience event, attracting about 500 participants from around the world, centered on Unique Self as part of an Integral approach to spirituality.

Marc Gafni’s keynote address to the Integral Spiritual Experience event at Asilomar on New Year’s 2009/2010, Exploring Your Unique Self, explains how Unique Self is not merely a product of the sterile mind, but an intellectual and embodied embrace of the divine. Moreover it is a form of integral knowings emerging together as “symphonic wholes evolving the world to ever increasing kindness and compassion.”

Marc explains how the Integral framework helps us to recognize the beauty, legitimacy, and divine spark, and intuition of truth that exists within every great system and expression of culture, and thereby gathers partial truths together and links them in order to reveal a world that is a whole. He then makes six points which provide the basis for understanding the major contribution of Integral thinking for the spiritual life.

Below you also find speeches from that event by Ken Wilber and Sally Kempton.

A second Keynote by Marc was about Understanding Your Unique Shadow.

Stream the videos here: